Friday, February 28, 2014

Every Day

Every day, I get to travel to rural school districts in the Texas panhandle to work with amazing teachers, staff, and administrators. Every day, I get to witness the bursting forth of light from the heavens as I am traveling. Every day, it washes over me and fills me with gratitude.

I couldn't help myself from stopping to snap these incredible photos. Although these will never do sunrise justice, they can serve to continually remind me of the everyday blessings that come my way. There are times in our lives when we feel swallowed up by darkness, fear, disappointment, and sadness. We can't always see beyond our situations. I have felt this way more than I care to admit. After Trey died, I wondered if I would ever laugh or feel joy again. In fact, breathing was sometimes a chore. God was always there with me, even when I didn't feel His presence. The picture with the light shining through the clouds reminds me that little by little, I can feel joy and be cognizant of the gifts God showers upon me daily. I am opening up more each day and learning to live a fuller life. I can even feel the overwhelming beauty of life, full of color and adventure, as shown in the other photo. 
In the course of this journey, I realized that I have been clenching my fists and pointing fingers. I closed myself off in my need to mourn and try to make sense of a terrible loss. Something I read recently made me realize that as long as I clench my fists and point my fingers, I am actually pointing to myself. Try it! So the more I open my hands to receive what God has for me, and to lend a hand to others, I am directing attention away from myself. Therefore, I am becoming less self-centered and more able to give and receive.
Every day, I am thankful for the day.  Every day, I am thankful that my son lives in Heaven, and that I will one day see him again. Every day, I feel blessed beyond what I deserve. Every day, I see God's grace and mercy in my life. Every day, I am thankful for ..."a good measure, pressed down, shaken together, and running over" that is being poured into my lap. (Luke 6:38)